Kelee: Comic Book - Part One

Welcome to Part One of my comic book. 

You can just click on the top panel and then use your arrow to move through the "pages."

Click here for Part Two.
Click here for Part Three.
Click here for Part Four. 

Kelee: Writing Comics

A few months back our friend Rebecca asked me to be the guest artist at the Celebration of Expressive Arts in August. Despite having an intense fear of speaking in public, I agreed to give a little speechiloo about all the crap I make. I often mistakenly believe that the me-of-a-few-months-from-now is going to have little in common with the me-of-now, despite the fact that the me-of-now has a lot in common with the me-of-a-few-months-ago. . . . I hope I just said that I don't change a lot while thinking that I will. So when Rebecca asked me to be the featured artist last summer my brain went all, “Uh. I'm like totally not an artist. I'm so a crafter. Like, an alternative crafter.” Because apparently my brain is constantly a 14 year-old girl from the early 90s. Then Rebecca asked me to be the featured writer for February and my brain went all, “Uh. Writer?! I am so not a writer. I'm totally an artist.” That's when I told my brain to shut up and agreed to do the CEA presentation. I'm hoping that she'll ask me to be the featured musician soon so I can feel like a writer.
I sat down to do some writing and realized I had no idea what to write about. I called my writer friends for tips. One said to start at the beginning. I tried it: I was born as a small baby in the late seventies when the daffodils bloomed.
 Another writer friend suggested that I write about what I know. I tried that: This story begins the week that I saw four poops that were shaped like penises.
Another writer friend suggested that I write about the differences in growing up in the Mississippi Delta and living in Vermont. I tried it: In Vermont people eat corn muffins as a breakfast muffin – right along side a blueberry muffin or a bran muffin. In Mississippi a corn muffin is eaten as a dinner accompaniment used to push peas or sop up gravy.
And maybe there was a story in one of these, but I couldn't figure out how to write the parts that connect up the separate thoughts. How could I write a story without the connectors? A comic book was the only solution I could think of. Then the problem became that I cannot actually draw.
First I tried to use real photos gimped (which is the free version of photoshop) into submission for the pictures, but it was way too much work and looked sort of boring.

The set up to this one is an old lady sweetly saying to Apple, “Oh, aren't you sweet? Are you pretending to be on a horse?”

Then, I tried using pictures of people that I found on the Internet and dropping them into real pictures. Like this:

The follow up to this is, “That baby was born with four testicles. One of them was as big as a softball.”

Again, it just wasn't as interesting looking as I was hoping for, and required more searching of the Internet than I typically care to do.
Then in a flash of brilliance in the middle of the night, I decided to try making paperdolls to use. That way I could use a real photograph background and just pose the dolls like they would be in the scene and photograph them. A tweaked version of this idea is the method I ended up using. I made a handful of the dolls, cut them out, and photographed them lying flat on paper. I gimped out the background to be transparent and dropped them into a real digital photograph of the background. I sized them, colored them, text bubbled them, and was quite content with the result.
I intended on making more versions of the customer paperdoll and adding a bigger cast of characters, but this is what my life has been like lately...

There was also an issue with content. I did a trial comic that started like this...

However, Ben said I went too blue in the ending. If Ben, the guy who made a joke about having sex with the Power Rangers last night, thinks its too blue, it is probably too blue.
Do you remember a few years back when there was a whole flock of memoir writers who wrote these wildly successful memoirs, and then it was revealed dramatically on the television that they had actually made-up their memoirs? Somehow Oprah was tied into the story. I never understood why anyone would lie about being creative enough to invent a story. Isn't that way cooler than just recording what really happened? That is why I'm going to tell you that what I'm going to show you in the comics that will follow is completely fictional. I know it won't seem that way because the main girl is married to a dude named Ben who looks a lot like my husband and because she has the same kids and job and house and name as I do. You can trust me, though, it is all made up because I am, indeed, just that creative.
Please check back to see the actual comic.

Kelee: Making Handmade Valentines

We are sharing a family cold. (Except for Ben, whose clean living has finally caught up with him. It's funny. I figured I'd only ever say that sentence sarcastically.) We've been cooped up for days determined to keep this cold to ourselves. We're stingy like that. When medicated, we don't feel terrible so we have been going a little crafting crazy. Besides, we are all in the Valentine's mood. Even Gritty Kitty. Don't ask about why she's furless in those furless spots. It's best you don't know.

The Girlchild is still young enough to not be jaded about Valentine's Day. She has yet to experience the pain of unrequited love, loneliness, broken hearts, and those obnoxious people who preach about how we should show love all year long and not just on one day. I'm happy I was born all year long, but I'm not going to bake myself a birthday cake everyday. Although, now that I've thought of the idea...

This was us for most of the morning yesterday. Luckily, it was super duper cold so we didn't feel like we were missing out on much by being stuck inside. We decided to make little heart necklaces for Apple's friends at school.

Our original plan was to put three hearts on each necklace, but when we actually got around to making them we found these pretty pink seed beads that we'd bought about a thousand years ago and decided to go with two beads and one heart.

They turned out really sweet looking.

I also got to recycle a bunch of necklace wire because tiny little girls have tiny little necks.

I made them where they'd fit the little girls about the same spot where I like necklaces to fit me. I asked Apple if any of the girls have exceptionally large necks, but she was little help.

While I was making these, Apple spent a very long time working on a butterfly.

She developed her own technique for making it and worked on it for a few hours. It was pretty impressive to see her work so long on something. Must have been the fever. It was a lot of work. Each little blob was individually made and added. I am not saying it is the most butterflyish looking creation, but I am saying I am impressed with her arting skills.

She's going to give it as a Valentine gift to someone but she can't say who, and I'm not allowed to ask questions. She also made a heart using the same technique.

Then we made some handmade Valentine Cards. I cut out the hearts for her and she did the rest. Our supplies were limited to construction paper, red glitter, glue, and markers.

I asked about the "Wee Love" one. She said it was "Wee! like on a roller coaster and love. Get it?" Maybe I do. I suggested that she give that one to Isaiah since we know his parents.

And finally, we made some bigger hearts to give to Apple's favorite teachers as pins. Only we have no pins. I am not sure what we're going to do about that. I've exhausted our one local option for crafty-supply shopping. Oh well. We have until tomorrow to decide.

I think this will be my last blog post about Valentine's Day for this year. However, both kids are home sick from school today so you never know what kind of crafting nonsense we'll get into.

Kelee: Sewing a Twirly Skirt

It's Super Bowl Sunday, or as we call it at our house – Super Bowl Sunday. I'm a true Mississippi girl at heart so on Super Bowl Sunday I do what a lot of Mississippi girls do on Super Bowl Sunday. First, I finished up about a gazillion hats that I had half-finished and stuck back in my yarn boxes.

Then I went to a reception at our neighborhood Cooperative Gallery – Artist inResidence. After that, we made a twirly skirt from sparkly heart fabric. Finally, we are watching the big game. Apparently we have not stressed the sportyball education in our household because the girlchild said, “Can I be for the Red Sox?” And the boychild thought that the winner of the coin toss was the winner of the game.

The gallery event was totally fun. There were tasty foods, interesting conversations, and an art raffle. We bought a raffle ticket for a Vermont Bag Lady bag and lost. The winner, however, was our friend Cheryl, and she gave the bag to us. Okay, fine. She gave it to Apple. Look how cute, though. I really like the Vermont Bag Lady's bags. Very unique and very well made.

I found some fabric on sale at our local yarn and fabric store yesterday, and I had a pattern for a very twirly skirt that I've been wanting to try. When we got home from the gallery, the family guys were playing a video game. As fun as watching others play video games can be, we decided to try to make the skirt.

The fabric that I bought was called cuddly flannel. It was on sale for only $2.50/yard at my local JoAnn's. Check it out. It had glitter hearts already built in on it. Glitter hearts! How could we pass that up? It seems pretty nice. Soft and a little fuzzy on the back and not prone to wrinkling, which is good because we are not an ironing family.

Together, the girlchild and I crawled through the twirly skirt instructions. It took me longer than it should have just to read the instructions. Long enough that the Apple got out a dry erase board and wrote encouraging slogans to urge me along. Things like "Good Job Mama" and "Are you going to ever finish this? Check one: Yes or No."

I had to ask for some help with the hem and would have asked for more help if my serious sewing blogmate Alison had been home earlier. I would have NEVER figured out the hem instructions without her help or a youtube tutorial. I am happy with how it turned out, though. Better than my previous efforts.

And way twirlier. The poor little carsicky girl almost yakked while testing out the twirliness. 

 The waistband is a different material. This one below. I see now that it easily gets covered up by the shirt. I think I'll make it longer in the next one.

I also think it's about time that I make myself a twirly skirt. Maybe I'll get around to it on the next Super Bowl Sunday. Although, I can probably do without the glittery hearts.

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Kelee: Perforating Tags

I don't want to get too religious in a crafty blog, but this is something that has been weighing heavy on my heart. Ben and I are some of those rare devout people who remember our New Year's Resolutions and keep them holy. Usually we make fun and productive Resies, mostly about art. Finish that album. Make myself a new hat. Buy more yarn. Learn to use that new pedal. Find the perfect homemade Twinkies recipe.

One of mine for this year is to keep up with my crafty sales. Don't get your 1040s in a wad. I record my sales through our store and pay all the proper sales and income taxes on them, like the sweet law-abiding lady that I am. However, they just melt right into the cauldron o' sales with the used copies of Dr. Mario for Gameboy Color and Bell Biv Devoe on LP. It was very hard to keep up with, however, since Ben works at the store way more often than I do. 

We have conversations like this:

Ben: You sold a hat today.

Kelee: Yahooo! Which one?

Ben: I think it might have been green. Or perhaps red. Or, did you have a blue one?

Kelee: Well, who bought it?

Ben: I don't know their name. You would know them, but it would take me too long to try to describe them.

I don't really blame him, though, because we work a lot of hours, see a lot of people, and I make a lot of hats. He can't be expected to love them all as much as I do. I love them most when I bump into them in public. I have to restrain myself from patting people's heads.

Anyway.

I came up with about 437 different complicated options for a system of keeping track of what sells – each one more difficult and elaborate than the previous. One involved pulleys. One was so expensive that we'd have to remortgage our son to pay for it. Then I discovered the Tonic Studios 806 Mini Rotary Perforator, which I purchased for under $10 from Amazon.com (I'm not sure if you've heard of them, but they are on online shop that sells pretty much every item in existence. They aren't very well-known, though, so I am sure they will appreciate this plug from me). Then I found these super fancy little tiny tags with strings already attached to them at our local Stationer's shop, AKA Staples. And some Sharpies of color and a new pen.

Remarkably, the Tonic Studios 806 Mini Rotary Perforator actually works. I've perforated nearly every perforatable surface in my house. Including my tags.

Let's pretend that the crooked nature of the perforated portion is an aesthetic choice. 

I just tied those fancy little things onto a hat and hung them up for sale.

Now all we have to do, is trick some unsuspecting sucker into buying a hat, rip the perforated portion off the tag and promptly lose it.

In theory, we will save the ripped off part long enough that I can delete the hat from my etsy shop, record the sale in my sale-recording spot, and mark the hat as sold in my Hats For Sale database.

I even added a secret super special code on each tag that will correspond with a number in the Hats For Sale database. Only, in real life, my etsy shop has been unattended for so long that the squatters have built-in shelving and this Hat For Sale database does not yet exist.

Still, the code looks fancy.

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