Initially, my problem was my sewing machine. My mom gave me her old sewing machine when I graduated from college. I love it because it's green and old and my mom's.
I could not even figure out how to load it up with thread. I had to finally give up the sentimental idea of sewing something for my little girl on the same sewing machine that my mom had sewn me those uneven shorts with one pocket that went the wrong way and one pocket too small to hold more than a dime. My mother was quite wonderful at many things, but sewing was not one of them.My instruction-manual-loving husband gave me a brand new sewing machine for Chrimbo two years ago, and imparted upon me the Biblical wisdom of the Wise Men (because it was Chrimbo time):
And I say unto ye, if swaddling clothes were good enough for the baby Jesus in the Manger, why are you trying to sew a dress for your child? Doth thou believe that your child needs better clothes than the human form of the Creator of all things? Oh, you do? Then thou shalt read the manual if you expect to learn to sew.
Manual, relay instructions.
I learned how to thread the machine. 
Easy enough with a handy diagram to follow.
I learned how to load up the bobbin.
Pretty simple.
And the manual has a simple diagram
that shows if your tension wheel number 
needs to be more or less. That solved three of my sewing problems.
My new problem was that every time I started to press the accelerator to start sewing, my needle would become unthreaded. Every single time. It would take me forever to sew something what with all the stopping, and the starting, and the rethreading, and the swearing, and the depositing of quarters in my swear jar. I finally called my sister who suggested turning the sewing knob at the end a few times so that the thread would already be anchored into the fabric and therefore less likely to pull out and more likely to impregnate the fabric with stitches.
Easy enough with a handy diagram to follow.I learned how to load up the bobbin.
Pretty simple.And the manual has a simple diagram
that shows if your tension wheel number 
needs to be more or less. That solved three of my sewing problems.
Genius. I've been sewing like crazy ever since. Except for all that time I spent at the lake, and at work, and reading, and sitting around listening to music, and playing matching games with my kids, and going for creemees, and updating my facebook status, and pulling teeth, and thinking about doing the laundry.Anywho. I am still in the very extremely early learning phase of sewing. I am just so excited to finally be moving forward in the process. When I kept telling people that I couldn't sew, they seemed to think that I was saying, "I cannot sew as well as someone who can sew really, really amazingly." However, it was just this week that I discovered that those little markings next to where the needle bobs up and down are measurements to help you sew your seams to the measurement that the pattern suggests.
And just today as I was taking pictures, I discovered that the lines continue down so you can keep your fabric lined up as you make your 3/4 inch seam. I really meant that I could not sew.The girlchild's butterfly skirt turned a wee bit hoochie after her last growth spurt. I decided to make her a new skirt. I read some tutorials online:
http://www.home.earthlink.net/~cornpatchcreations/twirlyskirt.htm
http://www.houseonhillroad.com/photos/twirly_skirt/index.html
I decided to pass on the math and go more with a visual, trace-with-a-crayon pattern.
I ended up making three of them. 
Making changes in the "pattern" as I figured out new stuff.
Until I ran out out of fabric.
Making changes in the "pattern" as I figured out new stuff.
Until I ran out out of fabric.
Let's say you were going to sit next to the sweet girlchild on the fabby orange couch. You could find at least 372 things wrong with this skirt, but you'd have to admit she looks more stylish than if I'd just wrapped her up in swaddling clothes. I call this progress.
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