Crafting Bravely

People choose to be brave in all sorts of crazy ways. They take potentially deadly jobs (like police officer, soldier, drug mule, or convenience store clerk), run marathons in Antarctica, wear swimming suits in heels on stage, swim with crocodiles, or stand up in front of an auditorium full of high schoolers. My way is to take this wool item that I spent days making and to throw it in the dryer. Sure, it's not as risky as being a drug mule, but the rewards are greater.

Recently, I made a big batch of small circles in a variety of colors. I can no longer remember my original intent when I made these circles. My terrible memory is a curse and a blessing.

I was chopping green olives to make this amazing recipe when I realized how much I love the pimento-stuffed olive. Aesthetically speaking and the taste-equivalent word, olives are the bomb. (Are people still saying that?) I like how they line up all off-centered. They do an amazing job of combining red and green and not looking Christmassy.

I came up with this design.

I squared up the motif following this intricate, brilliantly written pattern. Then I did it again a zillion times. Literally, a zillion times. Then I ate some goldfish. Then I sewed together all the squared-up, off-centered, olive-inspired circles.

Here comes the part where my bravery was really tested. The bag and I were alone in a dark room. One single bulb hung above our heads. "It can be as easy as you telling me what I want to know and me walking out this door." But the bag refused to talk.

"I'll ask you one last time. Is it more fiscally advantageous for me to buy bulky yarn or worsted weight and use two strands?"

When the bag still didn't talk, I took it by it's lengthy strap and held it under scalding hot water with dishwashing liquid. Then I dripped hot, soapy water all over the floor all the way to the dryer into which I tossed the bag and slammed the door shut. I did not photograph this part. I've learned from others' mistakes of taking pictures of themselves torturing bags.

Since I wanted the bag to be seriously felted, I let it dry for almost an hour, re-wet it, and dried it even longer.

When this bag came out of the dryer, it was oddly misshapened and even smaller. I use a very tedious, mathmatically complicated, scientifically exact method of reshaping.

I call it The Very Tedious, Mathmatically Complicated, Scientifically Exact Back of the Kid Chair Shaping Method.

The next issue I must tackle is whether or not I should line the bag. This decision will really test the limits of my bravery.